Reluctant Geisha

Seriously, your grandmother can read this and not be embarrassed. It's not -exactly- what you think it is.

A Day In The Life Of… 09:13:2007

me!

Mood: Silly
Listening To: Sarah Vaughn [swoon] – Whatever Lola Wants
Notes: I. Am. Awesome. Oh yeah… and all the links, all you have to do is hover your mouse over them, and you can see the page they link to.

Man I think that is the funniest thing ever. I’m pretty sure Jesus does too. <LOL> It’s funny because He wouldn’t use Bank of America. LOL!!

Okay, onto the rest of what’s floating around in my head, before some crazy Christian goes crackers and crassly tries to comment! </alliteration>

So God… who hasn’t seen Chris Crocker’s crazy self all over the real news? I mean, TMZ was one thing, but ABC thinks his crying is newsworthy? Oh yeah I forgot… he’s the number 1 video on youtube now, that certainly makes him newsworthy. I think yesterday it was the suspense gopher.

This poor child actually said if something happened to Britney Spears he was going to commit suicide. Suicide threats piss me off, generally, because when people do it, they usually aren’t thinking about MTV or Britney Spears. I have to shake my head at it. Seriously.

But, speaking of gay guys, fruitsaladshow is doing their live wednesday broadcast, and this week they have none other than the illustrious Lady Bunny on the show! I rarely listen to blog radio shows, but I am a huge fruit salad fan. I like the little marachino cherries in it. It’s tasty.

<thinks about fruit salad for 5 minutes straight>

I like the radio show too.

O god, and there are the worthelss videos and photos of people saying Britney Spears is fat. Let me tell you guys something, Britney Spears may be a lot of things.. but fat? Not really. It’s really funny to me that our perception of weight is so distorted that a stick figure can be considered fat though. Seriously. That probably blows my mind most about this debacle.

I will say though, one of the bright spots of my internet week was MisanthropyToday’s Andy, who decided to have a talk with the Nigerian banker who emails all of us to tell  us about the millions of dollars we have in Africa.   I wasn’t shocked at some of the veiled racist comments that it got, but that doesn’t make me love the post any less.

So, I’m trying to get my website together, and I’m desperately trying to find someone who will build me a flash intro, or even build my entire site in flash without charging me an arm and a leg. Here’s a little known fact about The Geisha: I can do it myself. I just don’t want to.

I’m in talks with a very talented lady, and hopefully we can agree on a situation suitable for both of us. Think positive thoughts for me, or if you want to foot the bill, email me. LOL It’s CHEAPLADY@cheapladies.com

<LAUGHS>

I’m working today… man… it’s been a pretty alright day though, considering everything I usually have to listen to, it’s been mild. In more ways than a few, it’s been very mild. Sex work isn’t really like bamboo shoots under the fingernails, but it can be close I think. It can be downright painful to endure. I’ve had days like that, but lately, because of the attitude adjustment I talked about last week, it’s been alright. Enjoyable? Not at all. Mild? Sometimes. Can I stomach it? For a regular paycheck, yes I can.

I’m thinking of doing podcasts soon. Would you all like to hear my voice? The voice I talk about so much? <laughs> Man I’m in a good mood today. Chat to me here or on myspace about it, if you’d like to hear what The Geisha sounds like. I’m thinking I might enjoy that. It won’t be explicit, certainly won’t be anything about a pg-13 rating, because I only speak like a sailor when I’m working, but I think it might be fun.

Love to all of you,
-G

 

Questions For You: 08:29:2007

Yes, you.

Mood: Curious
Listening To: Alive – Celine Dion
Notes: I’d actually like answers to the questions I pose tonight, so if you have the cajones, comment or message me on myspace. All the links open in new windows, so enjoy them!

1. Why does everyone on I Can Has Cheezburger stop typing in plain english when they comment on a photo? Is it a requirement to comment in broken english and badly spelled words in order to place your stamp on their site? Seriously, it’s a cute photo, but I looked down the 20,000 comments and every. single. one. of them was written like a differently mentally abled cow wrote it- not a fat lady, an actual cow. Andy at MisanthropyToday wrote about it too, but for vastly different reasons than my own, I’m just here to ask why people lose the ability to spell when they visit the blog.

2. If you’re sore the day after the gym, should you still go? I’m getting conflicting pieces of advice. I’ve heard that yes you should go, because the muscles are damaged anyway, which helps you build them [which is not what I’m trying to do]. I’ve heard that no you should not go, and give yourself 48 hours to recover… or something. I wasn’t really listening closely to that piece of advice because I had a piece of pie in my throat.

I’m joking about the pie.

3. Owen Wilson attempted suicide? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it? I guess most people were too busy worrying about a suspected closet case beating his wife, speculating on her faith, and the amount of money they spent on a wedding to think about someone actually trying to quit life. I don’t know why that makes me so … ugh… but it does. So is he alright? Can anyone shed some light on what happened for me?

4. Why are people so happy that Juanita Bynum was attacked? This, above all (even more than the magic incantation on I Can Has Cheezburger which causes people to lose their grammatical control), shocks and saddens me. I can’t believe how many haters are out there! Women, mostly, talking about Juanita Bynum like a dog. Haters! Can anyone tell me when the population of haters outnumbered the number of real, down-to-earth folks? When did that happen? I mean, in my life, I have never seen people so open, and so ready to call someone fake and false, not knowing what’s in their heart… so ready to say she deserved it, who deserves to get beaten by a spouse? Can anyone tell me when the haters started procreating so aggressively? Katt Williams was right.

So those are my questions. I’m going to work in about two hours, so I’ll be back with another, lengthier blog about the perverts who call me and how much I feel sorry for them [or dislike them, depending upon my mood at the end of my shift].

Drop me a line and answer my questions if you’ve got the time!

– Geisha