I’m Quitting… 08:30:2007

Mood: Thinking
Listening To: Timbaland f. Keri Hilson – The Way I R
Notes: If you’re offended, leave it in the comments, not my email inbox.  Thank you in advance.

So I wish I knew how to embed youtube videos in my blog, because I find the oddest, funniest, and coolest videos that I have no idea how to show except to link you the way I did with the  song above.   But for now, I’ll be satisfied with linking you.  It’s better than nothing, right?  I hope so.

I’ve been surfing the web tonight, and I’d like to give you guys some more links to check out, from people who were also in the adult industry, in many different forms.  Strippers like JCs Girls, hookers like Annie Lebert, even porn addicts like XXX Church.  It’s all really interesting to me, because for an industry that touts helping people accept their sexuality, on top of earning billions of dollars a year, so many people are coming out to say that it was killing them.  Makes a person wonder, no?

Oh, make no mistake, I’m not here to preach… not in the slightest way.  I think I don’t really have a lot to say about it, because I’m still in the life, and have been for a long while.  Of course, those who are True Christians™ will say I’m going to hell, and those who were Really Bad™ will say because I’ve never sold my body for money that I’m not really included in the adult industry.  Phone sex operators are a weird bunch, really, caught in the middle of not good enough and not nearly bad enough to be included in any group.  It’s a weird caste system, the adult industry.  Oddly enough, just like the church.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to quit, badly.  I’ve wanted to quit for about 8 months now, for my own reasons… but the thing about it is really simple:  The electric company doesn’t listen to, “Jesus told me to quit my job.”

I’ve been told (and I’m not embellishing at all) by Christians and Ministers alike, “Just quit your job!  Who cares if your car is repossessed? God will provide for you!  Who cares if you can’t pay your rent, at least you’re not working in the industry anymore.”

Let me tell you something, that’s easy for you to say when you get a steady check every two weeks from your 9 to 5, and all your bills are paid.  It’s really easy to tell someone else to  screw up their life and credit, in the monetary sense, and quit a job with nothing else on the horizon.  How do I look, needing 3 grand a month to survive, and quitting my job to go work at McDonald’s for $800.00 a month?  I’ve had people say, “Just ask your parents for the money!”

“Okay, dummy, why don’t I do that,” I want to say, “and while I’m at it, why don’t I just subtract 14 years off my age so I can be in junior high school again?”

  On top of that, because it is super cool not to care about anyone else’s financial situation as long as your own is covered… super cool.

I’m not saying God doesn’t provide, don’t get me wrong.  I am saying that everyone’s situation isn’t the same.  Maybe his plan for me is to work and transition myself out, like I am doing.  I’m quite sure his plan isn’t for me and everyone around me to go broke while trying to keep up with my bills and obligations.  I’m quite sure of that one.

I mean… man… we’ve all got a story, and although they sometimes sound alike, they are all different, because we are all different.  So let me do this my way, and please, for God’s sake, don’t send me another email or message on myspace telling me about how I’m going to hell.  I can’t tell you anything about how this is gonna work out, but I can tell you for sure, one thing that isn’t going to happen is me going to hell.  Thank you for your love and concern though, seriously.

The adult industry is one, that oddly enough, usually provides a person just enough to get by, seriously.  Don’t ever let anyone play you and tell you that it’s easy to get rich off of it, because it isn’t easy.  Not by a long shot.  For example, if you go on the right places in places like Craiglist, you can find ads that companies post, saying things like, “Make up to $4,000.00 a month!  Work at home, simple, easy adult chat line, looking for talkative women with great personalities!  Call [number] and leave a message!”

Let me tell you something, seriously (and sometime I will really break it down and prove it to you, but for now…) there is no way anyone is going to make $4,000.00 in a month working a phone sex line.  The truth is, unless you’re a pretty high profile adult model or porn star, you’re not making that kind of money either.  Hookers, unless they are “call girls” (which is just a pretty name for girls who charge more because they have all their teeth and great bodies) , even have a difficult time making that type of money.

I’ll tell you who’s making that money and above though – A pimp.  You can call it whatever the heck you want to call it, I call it pimping.  Whether it’s a big dude who will knock your teeth out when he wants to do so, or a huge company that takes more than 85% of the revenue you make for them while you whore your voice out, it doesn’t matter, it’s a pimp.    $24.00 an hour sounds like a lot, until you realise you’re making the company $300.00 an hour.

That is pimping.  Starving people by giving them a somewhat impressive salary, and hiding how much they are making you with every disgusting word they say… that is pimping.

By the way, any ladies here looking for advice on getting started, I’m just gonna tell you the truth:  Even if you do find a company that pays “up to $24 .00 an hour,” you’re not going to make it.   Just FYI.  I’m sure I’ll tell you why another day, just for now, know that you’re probably going to make $10.00 or less an hour, and most likely it will be less.  I also advise you, if you think you won’t care or that you don’t need to worry about it, you’ll just be one more in the line of silly women who are getting pimped.  Don’t make this your slogan:

I’m not angry anymore, I’m not bitter… I’m just putting the truth out there.  I’m tired of people lying.  Phone sex operators all over will tell you what a great gig it is, and the truth is, it’s not a great gig.  It’s disgusting, you’re treated like a cooch without a brain, they talk to you whatever little way they want to that day, say things that affect your sex drive and your normal life, and you get a paltry, piddly, penny-ante check to compensate you for your trouble. 

I’m quitting.  Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but trust, I won’t be doing this too much longer.

Questions For You: 08:29:2007

Yes, you.

Mood: Curious
Listening To: Alive – Celine Dion
Notes: I’d actually like answers to the questions I pose tonight, so if you have the cajones, comment or message me on myspace. All the links open in new windows, so enjoy them!

1. Why does everyone on I Can Has Cheezburger stop typing in plain english when they comment on a photo? Is it a requirement to comment in broken english and badly spelled words in order to place your stamp on their site? Seriously, it’s a cute photo, but I looked down the 20,000 comments and every. single. one. of them was written like a differently mentally abled cow wrote it- not a fat lady, an actual cow. Andy at MisanthropyToday wrote about it too, but for vastly different reasons than my own, I’m just here to ask why people lose the ability to spell when they visit the blog.

2. If you’re sore the day after the gym, should you still go? I’m getting conflicting pieces of advice. I’ve heard that yes you should go, because the muscles are damaged anyway, which helps you build them [which is not what I’m trying to do]. I’ve heard that no you should not go, and give yourself 48 hours to recover… or something. I wasn’t really listening closely to that piece of advice because I had a piece of pie in my throat.

I’m joking about the pie.

3. Owen Wilson attempted suicide? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it? I guess most people were too busy worrying about a suspected closet case beating his wife, speculating on her faith, and the amount of money they spent on a wedding to think about someone actually trying to quit life. I don’t know why that makes me so … ugh… but it does. So is he alright? Can anyone shed some light on what happened for me?

4. Why are people so happy that Juanita Bynum was attacked? This, above all (even more than the magic incantation on I Can Has Cheezburger which causes people to lose their grammatical control), shocks and saddens me. I can’t believe how many haters are out there! Women, mostly, talking about Juanita Bynum like a dog. Haters! Can anyone tell me when the population of haters outnumbered the number of real, down-to-earth folks? When did that happen? I mean, in my life, I have never seen people so open, and so ready to call someone fake and false, not knowing what’s in their heart… so ready to say she deserved it, who deserves to get beaten by a spouse? Can anyone tell me when the haters started procreating so aggressively? Katt Williams was right.

So those are my questions. I’m going to work in about two hours, so I’ll be back with another, lengthier blog about the perverts who call me and how much I feel sorry for them [or dislike them, depending upon my mood at the end of my shift].

Drop me a line and answer my questions if you’ve got the time!

– Geisha

Big Fat Fatty… You Big Fat Fatty! 08:28:2007

Mood: Contemplative
Listening To: Last Night – Diddy f. Keyshia Cole
Notes: If this has a crabby tone to it, it’s because I’m feeling crabby, people!

Is it so wrong that I like Press Play? In fact, my ex told me a long time ago that it was hot, but I don’t have that New York State of Mind, so I wasn’t feeling it. But the song Last Night? It’s just hot. It’s actually so hot that I can forgive P.Did./Diddy/Daddy/-insertnextnamehere- for being so glossy. I mean, let’s face it, I think the brotha probably wears more expensive lip gloss than I do. It’s worth mentioning, that’s all I’m gonna say, people. That’s it. He’s glossy! But I’m gonna let that go, because Press Play is really hot.

I’ll even forgive Keyshia Cole for being the reported diva that “sources” [meaning angry friends] say she is in her daily life. So she’s a diva, who cares? Her voice is amazing, and she’s the truth. You may not like K.C. or P.Did, but you can’t deny when something is fire.

Man, and can I say, I am literally exhausted today? I’m gonna say it anyway, without waiting for an answer. I’m exhausted. That feeling is actually how today’s blog came into existence.

Now Playing: It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday – BoyzIIMen

I do love old school BIIM. Back to why I’m exhausted… Oddly enough, this week in my life, I’d already made the decision to actively join a gym and work my way up to working out 5 or 6 times a week. I’m an aggressive person, so I do everything in an aggressive way, like working out twice a day until I get where I want to be, and then doing some 3x weekly upkeep on where I’m at.

Now Playing: Movin’ On – Elliott Yamin

So today, I went to a little 24-hour spot around my way, no swimming pool or anything, but if I want to go watch cable and work myself into a frenzy on the elliptical, then I can do that, and it’s not expensive either. I’ve been thinking lately, why it seems like all phone sex operators are chunky, fat, or morbidly obese women. Now Now Now… NOW HOLD ON— I hear you already opening your mouth, I didn’t say we all are, I said it seems like we all are chubby ladies. So if you’re a phone lady reading this, or you know a phone lady, hold your horses, because I didn’t just say you were a fatty. I don’t want any mean emails coming through my inbox.

Truth be told though, most guys on the phone ask me, “So are you really 5’7” and 120 or are you fat and ugly like most people say phone sex operators are?

“No, dummy, I look like this all day.”

I’d like to say to them, “Even if I was fat and/or ugly, do you really think after you asked it that way I would tell you that I was fat and/or ugly,” then I’d pause for a long while and whisper, “ya silly son of a bitch.”

But instead I just and try to keep myself calm. Another day maybe, we’ll talk about how horrible the communication level of most of the callers is… but today, I’ll just talk about what simpletons they are sometimes. <laughs>

Now Playing: Stranger In My House (Club Mix) – Tamia

I digress, back to the truthful answer that I never provide to the callers. The truth is, I’m not 5’7″ and I don’t weigh 120 pounds. I’m 5’1″ on a good day, and although I’m not morbidly obese, or even “fat” (which I define as stomach larger than posterior end, has trouble climbing 5 stairs, etc…), I am a curvy girl. Chunky, fluffy, BBW, whatever you want to call it, I’m not a supermodel, and have never been one.

I know lots of ladies who have the same job I do, and they are all, without fail, heavy ladies. Now, I must pause and say, that word “heavy” is a blanket term and I’m using it to cover women who are 30 pounds overweight to 100lbs overweight as well. It’s always weird to me that people are so shocked that phone sex operators are big ladies. I mean:
1. She works 10 or more hours per day, sitting most of that time,
2. She doesn’t have to walk to her office from her car, she only has to walk from her bed to her office, if she even leaves the bed,
3. She doesn’t have an active job. She works, sits, eats, sits, poops, sits, sleeps, sits, reads, sits, watches, sits, emails, sits, works, sits… get it?

I mean, when it all comes down to it, it’s a great recipe for gaining weight.
You don’t do anything but sit and eat.

I have to confess, I fell into that pattern as well. I mean, a phone girl who is really about her money is working the craziest hours anyone can think of, because guys who call lines don’t call at “normal” hours. I mean, peak money-making hours are between 10p.m. and 4a.m., between 6a.m. and 7:30a.m., and between 5p.m. and 8p.m. (and that last one is kind of iffy, depending upon if the guy has a family he has to pretend he cares about, then there’s dinner to be served, people!).

Now Playing: I Drove All Night – Celine Dion

So we sleep odd hours and when you’re cooped up inside your house… well, let’s explore that, shall we? How many hours does the average person who works 40 hours per week and spends 30 minutes in the car each way spend away from the house? That would equal 45 hours for you slowpokes out there. Well, that’s 45 hours that I’m inside my house. Then, if I sleep 6 to 8 hours a day, that’s 42 to 56 hours… wait for it… in. my. house. Lastly, don’t ever let anyone tell you that this job doesn’t separate a girl from normalcy. If she makes friends, then great for her, but most phone ladies aren’t the most popular people you’ll ever meet, so the rest of her time is either with her kids, family, or by herself.

What am I getting at? It’s depressing. It’s a depressing job, and life, when you do it full time. Stress eating, depression eating, stuffing your face to stuff the feelings. It happens, and I’m a firm believer that the things I’ve said today are probably a huge part of the reason why most phone ladies are fatties. I say that word with love, because although I’m smaller now, I still consider myself a chubby bunny.

So, having said all that, I’ve decided to fight it, actively, before I wake up and find myself weighing 400 pounds, praying that I don’t choke on an Oreo while I talk to some stranger about adult activities. I jest! I kid! … I’d probably choke on a Fig Newton. I don’t like Oreos.

-Geisha