“You want to do what?”
I think I asked that question a million times while I was a phone sex operator. Really, a million times – at least. One would think, after having years worth of conversations about a guy punching himself in the family jewels would make me lean toward Never Being Surprised – but it never led to anything but the question, “You want to do what?”
Of course, Johnny Cool Guy would repeat himself, with his trademark whisper which he’d somehow come to conclude was sexy… but it never was sexy. It was just plain silly. I mean, all I’m saying is – if no one is in your home (and I’m willing to bet money you’re alone, sir) why are you whispering? Why whisper?
Over the years I did the work, I listened to guys talk about rape, murder, raping children, bestiality, and incest (I mean I heard it all) the one thing that could actually grate on my nerves to the point of making me angry was the whispering. I mean, imagine holding a 45 minute conversation and only being able to decipher say… 4 or 5 minutes worth of what the other person said. It gave me a headache – easy. Not to mention listening to someone whisper at 3:00 in the morning could easily lull me into a semi-peaceful sleep… it simply isn’t cool.
So I’d listen to the whispering while I myspaced or chatted online until I couldn’t take it anymore and fell asleep. After doing it so long, I’d trained myself to moan and sigh at what I thought were the right times and occasionally interject “Yeah, that’s sexy,” here and there – when I was asleep, man! I’m not kidding!
There were so many times where I’d fall asleep during a conversation and try to cover it by saying “Yeah, that’s sexy” and the caller would say, “What?” – which would let me know I was Really Asleep and had completely mucked it up. A few times I snored right in the middle of one of their “speeches” (not a euphemism, I actually mean they’d talk to me like it was a monologue… a really important one) and I’d wake myself up just in time to hear them hang up the phone. Sometimes I’d wake up when the beep came on the line to signal they’d disconnected. Still, more often than not, I’d just sleep blissfully, moaning and sighing my way to a 10 or 15 minute call.
I think back on these memories with a not so fond feeling… and I can’t imagine why a person would ever… ever try to make sex work seem positive in any way – other than the one cliche I know best:
Misery loves company.
-SF
Wow, I laughed out loud in the office about the sleep talking. Nice!
Funny. But the last part was sobering.